According to Who?

So often I hear students and fellow performers say things like, “I’m worried I’m not where I SHOULD be…” And my response is always the same, “According to who?”

I mean that question sincerely. Who decides where you should or shouldn’t be and when? Is there a committee of Broadway and Hollywood casting directors who decide if you can’t sight read by 16 you will never work? If you don’t start dancing at 2 years old, you’ll never be a Broadway chorus dancer? Do your school drama and theatre teachers get together and discuss the fact that, because Covid interrupted your regular theatre education, you now don’t get to go to college for your BFA?

No. None of those things are true.

You decide. No one else. No one else gets to tell you where you “should” be in your life or career.

It is so easy to fall into the trap of comparing your skills, your timeline, your career, with others - heck, I’ve done it many times! But the important thing to remember is that no one decides your path but you. Sure, the girl in your high school’s musical may naturally have a higher belt than you do at 16, but that doesn’t mean you’ll never be able to belt. It doesn’t mean she’ll be more successful in a theatre career than you. It doesn’t mean you need to go home and belt until it hurts trying to sing the same notes. It simply means her voice is structured a bit differently than yours - that’s neither good nor bad, it’s just true. Maybe she started singing a few years before you - that’s okay! You can’t control those things, you can only control you; how hard you work, how good of care you take of yourself, how you spend your time.

Spending your time worried that you aren’t where you “should” be according to some arbitrary standard with no merit, is a waste of your most precious resource. Instead, try spending that time developing your skills. Spend that time in a voice lesson, a dance class, reading a play, practicing solfege, researching playwrights, etc. You will not only feel less stressed, but you will actually have done something to get you closer to your goals.

Everyone’s journey is different. It sounds cheesy and cliche, but that’s because it’s true.

You are exactly where you “should” be.