How I Deal with Disappointment

We all have our own ways of dealing with disappoint in life, theatre-related or not. We develop our coping mechanisms throughout our lives and hopefully they change as the type and frequency of disappoint changes. For us theatre nerds though, disappoint is a more regular feeling than for people most other professions.

Theatre, along with basically any other arts profession, is a mine field of rejection, confusion, competition, and uncertainty. For those of you new to the field or thinking about going into it, let me share with you a few ways I, personally, like to deal with disappointment.

First, I make sure to give every audition (even the ones I think I may not be right for or don’t think I have a shot at) every little bit I’ve got. If I’ve done my best, I know there was no reason to blame myself for it not going the way I would’ve liked.

Second, I breathe. When I get the notice (which sometimes never comes) that I was not cast or that I did not get the role I wanted, I take 3 deep breaths. This calms my nerves and frustration so I can work to accept the facts.

Third, I sing. I mean I belt it out! Singing (if you’ve read my earlier blog posts) is scientifically proven to brighten your mood by releasing endorphins and lowering cortisol levels; basically, it makes you happy. I have sung throughout my life whenever I’ve gotten bad news. No matter how terrible the news has been, singing has never failed to make things seem at least a little better. Plus, singing is something I know I am good at, so if I feel like I didn’t do well in an audition, it reminds that I still have a wonderful skill to share with the world.

Fourth, I talk about it. This can sometimes be difficult, especially when people don’t always understand the auditioning and casting process, but it is so important to maintaining a healthy mindset in the brutal acting world. My husband is my biggest champion and I truly adore him for it. He lets me sit there and describe the entire dance call, exactly what notes I got during the callback, and listens to me pick away at myself. He doesn’t try to fix it or make things okay, he just listens. Now, before this turns into a blog gushing about my amazing partner, let me say this: it is essential to a healthy balance in life (not just performing) to find someone who just listens to you, whether it be your best friend, your boyfriend, girlfriend, son, daughter, mentor, it doesn’t matter. Simply talk about it and the weight will lift from your shoulders.

Finally, I move on to the next audition! Nothing will help you move past your disappointment like reminding yourself you have another audition in two days that you need to prep for! There will always be another audition, another gig, another role. It’s a bummer that one didn’t work out, but there’s more to do and more to learn so you must pick yourself up and get back to the work you love!

I personally believe that you receive 100% of the roles you are meant to have. So trust the process and yourself - you’ll be fine!